Parenting Styles In The Modern Era

Parenting Styles have transformed since the days of old when parents were told to scold their children and avoid comforting them when they cried. Today, we are going through it all. If you are confused about what is right for your children, should you pet or scold? Ignore or comfort?

You are not alone. With the evolution of the world wide web and the uncertainty that our world presents today, it is almost impossible to find information that breaks parenting styles down. Give it a try, Google “parenting styles” now, see what happens.

Are you overwhelmed yet? You might find that there are several parenting styles to look at. How is a mom supposed to pick the right one! Well,  that’s why you have me::-). First, let’s take a look at four basic types of parenting:

Supportive Parenting Style

This type of parenting style is accepting and child-centered. What this means is that your child is the focus of your parenting, not you. There are two distinctions; Authoritative Parenting and Permissive Parenting.

Authoritative Parenting

This style does not keep you comfortable, it keeps you on your toes. Your child is the focus of your parenting, yet you expect much of your child. Your relationship is reciprocal, responsive and communicative (both ways). Many might call this the positive support style.

Permissive Parenting

Are you that mom that comforts her child at the sound of every cry and don’t expect much of them? If you said yes, then you fall under this category. You lack control and your relationship is indulgent. Some people say this is a negative support type, but I disagree. I will explain further soon.

Parenting Styles

Unsupportive Parenting Style

Do you know a mom that does not talk about her kids without referring to herself, that one that scolds her child every time?  Unfortunately, we all know that mom that rejects her children and makes everything parent-centered.  There are two types of unsupportive parenting:

Authoritarian Parenting

Do you feel the need to control your child? Are you constantly reminding your kids that you have all the power? Well, Hello! This is your bus stop lady. Your communication with your child is one-dimensional and you control everything that happens in your relationship.

Rejecting-Neglecting Parenting parenting styles

If you are reading this and you are yet to figure out what type of parenting style you practice, you are probably a rejecting-neglecting parent. Your relationship with your child is uninvolved: neglecting or rejecting.

Now, the nagging question; which parent style should I practice? You are asking the wrong question, my friend. Remember what I wrote above about permissive parenting style? Yes, that one. It is not the worst in the world. There is a reason why I came to this conclusion. Some kids thrive in permissive environments and some need more guidance.

Nature versus nurture has been a long debated topic within the scientific community because many believe many of our behaviors are nurtured, while some believe it’s in our DNA. Whatever your belief system is, you have to agree that many of the behaviors you exhibit today are as a result of your upbringing.

So what is the conclusion?

“A great foundation makes a great house.” 

There are 6 things parents can do to lay a foundation for learning and development.

During the early years:

  • Be warm, positive, authoritative and consistent. Expect a lot of yourself and your children.
  • Be a Teacher. Show and teach responsibility, work, and persistence.
  • Structure and routine should be established.
  • Emphasize emotional maturity and social skills.
  • Focus on academic excellence.
  • Establish moral values and spiritual gifts.

As they get older, you have to dedicate yourself to guide them through life. Be active in specific settings – elementary to college.

Focusing on how you parent and not what your parenting style is will make you much more successful as a parent.

Your child will be motivated and confident.  He will learn self-control and cultivate openness. It is all about striking a balance. If you can’t remember all that you have read, use this short formula:

Give time, attention and respect

+

Communicate, teach and learn

+

Set good examples, be consistent and steady

=

A productive member of society

Finally, DO NOT be so hard on yourself. No parent is perfect. Sometimes we mess up, and that’s okay. Really, it is. Be the best you!

Want to read more posts like this? visit the parenting section of my blog. Do you need some Feng Shui in your life?

I am currently reading Parenting with love and logic by  Foster Cline. It’s a must read!