Hello, Lifestyle Family

Let me start by saying 2016 was a very trying year for me and my family. We endured the most horrific nightmare of our lives. As many of you probably know, I announced the coming of a new baby into my family last year. My girls were ecstatic, and my husband and I were planning for the arrival of our new bundle of joy.

We picked out a new land to build a newer, bigger house, we picked out colors, cribs e.t.c. but the skies were laughing at us. We did not expect the shocker of a premature baby AND multiple days at the ICU as I watched my boy fight for his life.

I lost my angel on July 7th, 2016. He lived for 3 days, days that felt like years. I still try to understand how my joy was snatched away so abruptly. Why? What did I do wrong? My Mazid Folami has met with his maker, I KNOW HE IS IN A BETTER PLACE. Yet, I am inconsolable.

I go about my everyday like everyone else. I smile, I laugh, I eat myself to stupor. In the dead of night when all birds are asleep and shadow is cast on earth, my inner conditions continue to relive my nightmare.

My boy roams around, disembodied and lost, having not gone forward in the next stage of his journey.  By refusing to go toward the light that will carry him fully unto the next realm after death of his physical body. I feel he does not understand this transition, he has remained here with his family in a temporary state of limbo, so to speak.

What is my recourse? Well, I spend my days living like the rest of the world. Guess who spends her nights tossing and turning.

I have gained a good amount of weight in the last year, not bothered so much with it because I felt it was my punishment. I did not do my motherly duties, I failed. Everyone needed to see how much of a failure I was.

Today, I hope to set myself free, one blog at a time. I choose to honor my child’s memory instead of torturing his soul.  You will see my posts more often. Now, I don’t feel sad, I still have questions with no answers.  What I won’t do is spend each day miserable and pitiful.

I Pray for you my love, I pray for you and I miss you. It is true, “There is not but our worldly life; we die and live (i.e. some people die and others live, replacing them) and nothing destroys us except time. . .God causes you to live, then causes you to die; then He will assemble you for the Day of Resurrection, about which there is no doubt.”

Look out for my new posts, and don’t forget to follow me on twitter and facebook. I will be doing a lot of family-oriented post. In addition, you should see more vlogs from me.